


my tears are acid (i would cry a million tears for you)

by fairy_lix



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I am so sorry, It gets better I promise, Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Sweetheart, Lowercase, M/M, Multi, OT9 - Freeform, Stray Kids are a family, a moment of silence for minsung please, and the last one is a group goodbye, channie is such a good leader, each chapter is minho interacting with every member, i love you minho, lee minho needs a hug, me projecting, minsung are boyfriends, my take on minhos elimination, oneshots, skz are the best of friends, sorta - Freeform, sung is the best boyfriend, what happens after the camera turn off and skz have to say their goodbyes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-06-29 05:10:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19823227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairy_lix/pseuds/fairy_lix
Summary: minho feels like he can't breathe.his own failure wraps around his throat, cutting off his airways and leaving invisible bruises minho thinks may never fade. his eyes are so blurred with tears he can't make out which member is hugging him, but he hugs back so tightly that you would think they were his lifeline.--my take on what happens after the cameras turn off after min's elimination.





	1. Felix

minho feels like he can't breathe.

his own failure wraps around his throat, cutting off his airways and leaving invisible bruises minho thinks may never fade. his eyes are so blurred with tears he can't make out which member is hugging him but he hugs back so tightly that you would think they were his lifeline. minho buries his face into the crook of his member's neck and vaguely registers felix's strawberry shampoo. 

god, felix. minho wonders who felix will go to for help for his korean now, wonders if the dance line will do okay. his heart breaks a little more and minho cries even harder, eyes stinging with acid tears. he runs a hand through felix's hair and pulls away, a shuddering breath exiting his lungs as he studies felix's tear-stained face. he swipes a thumb under his pretty freckles to clear away the worst of it and forces a smile on to his face. he can break down later. right now, his dongsaeng needs him.

"hyung," felix whispers. "hyung, why did you do that? why did you- we can't go on without you, hyung. we can't-" and then lix pulls away, heartbreak cutting off his voice and sadness tinging the red rimmed around his eyes. minho's gotten good at reading felix, mainly because body language is one of the only languages he and felix can communicate in easily, and minho thinks that felix's demeanor seems almost angry. not at minho, but he just has that hunch to his shoulders that only people who're angry at life; who've felt too much have. minho thinks felix is too young to be carrying that kind of weight.

so he smiles at felix again, with teeth too, and reaches down squeeze his hands. "don't end up like me, lix," minho murmurs. "you're amazing. you'll go on to debut, even if- even if it's not with me."

felix pulls back almost violently, shaking his head so hard his hair whips around. "hyung, no." he hisses. "who's going to be my korean teacher now? you can't leave me alone, hyung. please don't leave. you have to debut with us- we can't do it without you. we won't do it without you. hyung, please stay with us, please!"

it doesn't make sense, but felix clearly isn't in his usual state of mind. they both know minho isn't leaving voluntairily and he can't choose whether he gets to stay or leave, but when minho looks up he sees that felix's eyes are clouded with desperation. lix really is a child, minho thinks. he needs someone to support him, to be there forever. he needs comfort too, so minho pushes aside his own pain and the ache in his chest and focuses on felix.

"i'll be here whenever you need me, lix. i may not debut, but we'll see each other around, won't we? you and the other members are so, so talented, and if you miss your oppurtunity- no, your right to debut just because of me, i swear i'll kill you. love you so much, lix-ah. keep working hard, don't get discouraged. hwaiting!"

it's complete and utter bullcrap and they both know it, but felix nods frantically and minho pulls him in to press one last chaste kiss on the boy's forehead. 

"love you, hyung." 

"keep going, keep working hard and make your hyung proud. i love you too, lix."


	2. Changbin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changbin's eyes are pink, and they're looking everywhere but at minho. he's glaring at the floor instead, pupils swirling with a mixture of hurt and anger and such a profound loss. minho thinks he would like nothing more than to make sure changbin never looks like that again, but he settles for pulling changbin down for a hug instead.

when felix leaves, it takes a while for another member to walk in. minho can hear hushed voices and the muffled sound of someone crying behind the door, but he doesn't want to hear that so he focuses on his hands instead. the noises coming from the other members are quickly drowned out by the voices in minho's head, accusing him of ruining stray kids and bringing out his worst fears. he picks at his fingernails aggressively in a futile attempt to distract himself from his insecurities, and he's so preoccupied that he doesn't notice the next member walking in. 

soft hands encased in silver rings gently lace themselves with minho's, and minho looks up. even through the haze of his own tears, minho can make out changbin's form, looking oh-so-small in too big clothes and a hat pulled over his forhead in a an attempt to hide his eyes. changbin's eyes are pink, and they're looking everywhere but at minho. he's glaring at the floor instead, pupils swirling with a mixture of hurt and anger and such a profound loss. minho thinks he would like nothing more than to make sure changbin never looks like that again, but he settles for pulling changbin down for a hug instead.

they don't speak. they don't need to. he and changbin are much more similar than many think, and they read each other as easily as they read themselves.

"its okay," changbin's embrace tells him. "don't beat yourself up. what happens happens, but don't blame yourself for things you can't help." 

they hug until minho's calmed down, until he doesn't feel like a failure and a waste of space anymore. when changbin pulls away, his shoulders have lost all their tension and his eyes are soft and resigned.

"jyp is such an ass," changbin breathes. "all you did was one little slip up. one. you've been an excellent asset besides that, hyung, and i can't believe he didn't realise that."

changbin goes on to tell minho how amazing he is, how much he'll be missed. he doesn't bother making empty promises or reassurances he may not be able to follow through with. he doesn't even talk about the group all that much, just about the fact that minho deserves the world, and by the end of it minho feels a little less sad and a little more confident. changbin is the best of friends he could've asked for, minho thinks. he fiddles with changbin's rings. he smiles because he knows this isn't the end. 

how could it be, when minho has someone like changbin with him? changbin, who hasn't talked once about the sadness of the situation. changbin, who focuses all of his effort into reassuring minho, not himself or the fans. changbin, who's the truest of brothers. 

when changbin leaves, minho watches him with a renewed energy. he's not happy exactly (how could he be, in a situation like this?) but he knows that the kpop world is blessed to have someone like changbin. and maybe, just maybe, it's blessed to have someone like minho too.

minho is tired. he's tired, and he's sad, and he's just lost his brothers and possibly his dream. but even so, he knows he won't give up. not now, after changbin's kind words and not ever, even if he has to go through immeasurable pain like this again. he's tired, but he's ready too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minbin is an underrated duo and i love their vibe so much aksksks.
> 
> so like this is s h i t but im tired. im always tired when im sad but i only ever wanna write more when im sad so...guess yall are getting more trash for a story hA.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, i cried. so fucking what???????
> 
> anyways that was shitty but i was sad so you can't blame me?? i'm a creative writing major give me a break let me write at least one shitty thing that i wont get yelled at by my professor for. itll get better though, pinky promise. probably get even more angsty too, but hopefully the writing quality will improve? if not, i apologise in advance.


End file.
